Embracing the healing path

I’m going to be 53 years old in less than a week. Surprisingly, it’s not weirding me out as much as I thought it might. In fact, I think I may finally be at a point where I’m leaning more toward embracing this new stage of life.

This past year has been full of healing and while I know there’s lots more healing to do, I feel as though I’m more me than I’ve been since I was a small child. I feel like I’m, finally, successfully relocating my lost parts and stitching them back together to form a whole complete person. It’s been more than a bit discombobulating at times, but having come through what I’m hoping was the worst of it, I’m feeling lighter, freer, and more stable inside myself.

Looking back, it’s clear I’ve been on this healing journey for several years, since before the start of the pandemic. However, I think the healing began to speed up in 2020 just as the world was slowing down, but it wasn’t until last fall, following the death of my stepmother, that this healing journey of mine kicked into overdrive, giving me what felt like emotional whiplash.

Willingly or unwillingly – I’m not sure which – my subconscious self began excavating traumas that needed addressing from all the way back to my earliest moments on this planet. I began recognizing, acknowledging, facing, and then feeling my unfelt emotions, processing them in the hope that eventually I’d be free from their aftershocks. This process led to the release of stored unfelt emotions that had become toxic to the point of creating a heavy sludge that weighed down my soul, my inner essence and light. It’s been a very cathartic six months.

So, does this mean I’m “cured” or finally healed for good? No. I don’t think we’re ever done healing or growing or evolving. I know there’s more to do because I’m still being triggered from time to time, and that’s a sure sign that unprocessed yuckiness is still loitering somewhere in my subconscious self. With that said, I think – more like hope, probably – that the worst is now done.

My focus now is on moving forward into the unknown with courage and determination. I will face my fears head on, conquering them with the knowledge that they have no power over me because I am the one with the power. As it turns out, I always have been the one with the power, I just had to wake up and see the truth of it for myself.

I almost deleted this blog – not this entry, but the entirety of my blog, Consciously Calibrating with Sandy. I thought I was adding to the negativity swirling around our planet by sharing my challenges, but I no longer think that’s the case. Life isn’t perfect. It’s not supposed to be. Life is about meeting, facing, and overcoming challenges – some bigger than others – to learn, grow, and evolve our own consciousness. I think hearing from other people, knowing that they face similar challenges, that they’ve found ways to stay the course and eventually overcome those challenges; I think it helps us to know we’re not alone, and that we can overcome our own challenges, too.

I’m grateful for my life. I’m grateful for the people in it. I’m grateful for the lessons – even the really hard ones – and I’m most grateful for the uber-healing that’s taken place these past six months because it’s allowed me to take a giant leap forward in being the person I’ve always wanted to be. Like I said earlier, I feel lighter and freer than I have in a long time.

Thank you, Universe!